alta alatis patent

if a guy stares at ur boobs

just stare at his dick

maybe squint a little bit

Plot Twist: Stark Industries buys Tumblr. We all get free issue laptops with fantastic WiFi.

You’re walking in the woods

There’s no one around and your phone is dead

Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:

gay opera dubstep vampire

owlcitymordred:

I don’t think the BBC were hugged enough as children.

doomscritters:

are you shitting me

discopeanut:

- Helen Mirren, beautiful in every way it’s possible for a human to be beautiful.

shh-im-in-my-mindpalace:

thatpsychowriter:

thetenthdoctah:

ophilinonoo:

dude can you imagine before the fall like two office angels hanging around the water cooler in the break room. “so what’s on your list of things to do toda- hurufhjgghh”

I SHOULDNT BE LAUGHING

In which every angel yells, “DADDAMNIT CAS, NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN—”

DADDAMNIT.